North Korea, Best Korea!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
