chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
