I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
