just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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