You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
