the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
