lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
