smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
