she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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