no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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