i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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