Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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