mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She is in my trunk
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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