Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
