How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize