Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
