some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize