hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
