What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize