so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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