arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
