she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
