I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
