Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize