Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
