he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
