Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
