i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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