I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
