So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm passing your future prison.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
