I cannot find my penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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