I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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