Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
