I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
