IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it was like eating out sand paper
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
