My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
