First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
