Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
