ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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