Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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