That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
