I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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