I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
