they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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