We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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