What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I met the friendliest cop last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
