He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
