All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
