"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
