Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
