Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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