Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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