The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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