he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
