its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
