she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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