it was like eating out sand paper
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
