So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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